A Melody of Melancholy, Solitude, and Hardship

How have you been?

In Korea, the 21st presidential election took place on June 3rd. Candidate Lee Jae-myung was elected President. It will take time for the current complex political, social, and economic landscape to stabilize. In an era where news is constantly overflowing, those who correct misinformation are more precious than those who merely generate it.

Just two years ago, I was well-versed in domestic and international issues, but I’ve since let that go. I no longer actively seek out general news. I hear about major events through family and friends. If I need to conduct research, I’ll dive deep into specific information, but otherwise, I stay away. I suppose my interest in international affairs has waned.

I am still wandering in search of love and happiness. I share this letter with the hope that you always remain in peace alongside those you love.

Don’t Stop Doing What You Love

In May last year, I visited Bohol, Philippines, for the first time. Two months later, I settled down and began living here. Already, a year has passed. Currently, I work as a scuba diving instructor, and thanks to my exceptional mentors and colleagues, I am doing very well.

Living a life doing what you love may be a blessing in itself. And if that work can also provide a livelihood, it’s nothing short of extraordinary luck. We are constantly asked to choose between what we love, what we’re good at, and what makes money. Some choices force us to ignore reality, while others demand we abandon our dreams.

But times have changed. What you love can become what you’re good at. And what you’re good at can, in various ways, eventually lead to what makes money. We no longer have to choose just one. As we walk these paths together, we can continuously increase our own value. I was fortunate enough to have my passion become my livelihood, and I’ve done my best to meet those expectations. Even now, I continue to strive without stopping to ensure I remain good at what I do.

Don't give up so easily on the things you love. Your value can only be determined by you. In a world rampant with jealousy and envy, you might as well be the person being envied. A great journey doesn't start with a grand departure; it starts with not stopping the things you love.

The Beauty of Imperfection

As we become adults, we are often led by superficial knowledge toward a short-sighted perspective, suppressing our potential with fear, aggression, jealousy, anger, and frustration. The pure, free-spirited nature of our childhood actions is no longer with us. Society demanded logic and predictability, and we grew accustomed to it. In the process, love was either calculated or kept hidden.

We learned how to suppress emotions before we learned how to express them. We learned loneliness and melancholy. We learned solitude and faced hardship. Unable to express these suppressed feelings, our hearts grew sharp. We couldn't keep people close. Foolishly, I believed I could remain a "perfect stranger" to others. I caused wounds and was not forgiven. I couldn't endure the anxiety, jealousy, and misunderstandings. While it was your misconception, the wound was ultimately mine to bear. That was my life—for a long time, at least.

It took a long time to accept that living as an imperfect being is natural. The courage to stop short-sighted judgments and accept the emotions of the moment exactly as they are was not easily won.

Now, I look back at myself calmly.

There is a love that blooms within imperfection. That love allows us to see together landscapes we could never have seen alone.

The Wall of Pride

Sometimes, we think the small world we know is everything. Because of that, we are easily slighted and frequently hurt. The illusion of already "knowing" numbs our ability to listen. We start making excuses. The deeper the belief that "I am right" grows, the further we drift from people.

They call it authoritarianism—the attitude of being submissively compliant to higher authority while behaving arrogantly toward those "below" us. I realized that when I felt someone had nothing to teach me, a sense of superiority would bleed into my words and actions. Deep down, I knew this was wrong. But for a long time, I intentionally ignored it. Looking back, it was foolish. This behavior alienated those around me, and I was even indifferent to myself.

Starting now, I am trying hard not to make excuses. I’ve realized that when you pack too much meaning into everything, it all becomes futile anyway. I’ve found that leading with questions rather than trying to teach is a better way.

They say everyone we meet is better than us in some way. Even just knowing there is something to learn from them makes it true. Everyone deserves respect, and we need to practice seeing others exactly as they are. Listen first; put others' words before your own. Empty your heart enough to be ready to receive. This is humility.

I am still learning. In this process, I am fortunate to have wonderful elders standing by my side. I will live without forgetting their kindness. Whenever I faltered, they lit the way so I could keep walking. Though I am slow, I hope I am truly becoming an adult.

Health

Health is the ultimate asset.

I faced health issues throughout the first half of the year. I contracted the dengue virus and suffered from high fevers for days, and a severe cough caused me to lose my voice. My overall immunity seems to have dropped.

I’m cutting back on caffeine. While they say moderate caffeine intake boosts focus, I don’t really feel its effects. If anything, it just interferes with my sleep, so it’s only right to reduce it. I’m trying to drink water instead of coffee.

Magnesium helps with muscle relaxation and nerve stability, improving sleep quality. Melatonin regulates the biological rhythm, helping you fall asleep naturally. They say taking the two together helps with sound sleep and is effective against insomnia. I’m not sure about the results yet, but I take them every night before bed.

I’ve been trying various types of exercise. Weight training was too static and didn't quite fit me. I’m looking for something else.

Acknowledgments

I’m writing a short letter. Rather than major events, it’s the small, trivial things that have stacked up to give me time for reflection. Those moments happened thanks to the elders who looked upon me kindly and didn't hold back their candid advice. I am grateful to those who helped me find my direction.

I’m refocusing and looking toward the future. Rather than rambling on, I’ll end this semi-annual letter here. I hope to greet you again at the end of the year with the stories I couldn't tell and a better version of myself. I always wish for your peace. The fact that I can live my life this way is ultimately thanks to you. Thank you.

As always, I am grateful to my parents. I’ll call you often.

I end this with the best sentence I've drawn from my heart over the past six months.
Farewell for now.

We all have a narrative of how we existed, but I have my doubts about its continuity.

Just when I thought I had grown calm, I was busy running away while wiping tears.

If anxiety could be measured, it would be the weight of revival.

He was as pure as an Animal Crossing character.
He was warm, with a truly kind heart.
On the other hand, I think I was too dark a person.
Was that why? I think I was the one who caused more wounds.
I still think of him sometimes.
We were on a date at Seoul National University Station, just like any other day.
Suddenly, he said,
"Let’s stop seeing each other."
I couldn't say a word then.
But looking back now,
I wish I had said sorry a bit more warmly and gently.
I’ve lived my life studying philosophy,
and perhaps because of that, the world still feels lonely to me.

- Anonymous

You can ignore reality, but you cannot ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.

I think cleverly navigating the mysterious anxieties and small thrills of this earthly world—where we cannot know our fate for tomorrow—is what it means to live, and it’s several times better than heaven.

- Painter Chun Kyung-ja

On this trip, I realized that tipping serves as a "community-ism" of face-to-face human relationships, a symbol of individual effort and achievement, and a lifeline for ordinary people without specialized skill sets.

Meanwhile, servers here experience a meaningful increase in income when they provide higher quality service. Especially at high-end restaurants, you could clearly see how much a server had honed their conversation skills, service mindset, and understanding of food. The higher tip percentage at such places reflects respect for the server who invested in high-level skills to provide better service.

While tipping culture can seem somewhat inefficient and unfair to an outsider, in a sense, this behavioral inefficiency provides positive externalities that cannot be precisely calculated in economic terms.

- Naver Blog, Seung's Investment and Thoughts

When everything is running perfectly,
that is exactly when you must break it all down.

Keep breaking it until you find
the next thing that works better.

There is no meaning in what you have noticed.
Do not assign any meaning to it.
It does not show or symbolize anything.
it is not a theory that explains the world, nor a parable that teaches a lesson.
Do not add words to it.
Do not try to collect it; let it vanish.
Patiently wait for the next thing to notice.

- Verlyn Klinkenborg, Several Short Sentences About Writing

If we follow the paths traced by those who shouldered responsibility themselves in a world where it has vanished, we encounter unexpected lives. Witnessing people who didn't even know each other's faces become families of the victims and cry together is a wondrous experience every time.

When a disaster occurs, society's eyes turn to the scene. The government repeats, "It was an unavoidable accident, we will investigate the cause, we will establish prevention measures." It becomes a hot topic for a while, with the recovery process reported in real-time. But after a few days or weeks, it fades from everyone's interest. Leaving only the horror and shock of the tragedy, the truly important stories that must be told—who is responsible, who was punished, whether the truth was properly revealed, what prevention measures were created—are easily forgotten. In that oblivion, responsibility and punishment become light, and prevention measures of questionable effectiveness are made. Along this Möbius strip, disasters repeat once again, leaving only an emptiness where you can't tell what has changed after experiencing such a massive loss.

- 10.29 Itaewon Disaster Authors' Group, The Disaster Does Not Stay in the Alley